So I was goofing off on YouTube (like a good college student, instead of doing oh you know, homework!) And I came across an interesting YouTube video. For now I will not reveal what video or channel it was from, but the couple was going to China to adopt! I'm really happy they choose to do that. But I always wonder what adoptive parents feel, or in this case soon to be, about adopting. Like really feel. What do they fear? Do they think about how their child will assimilate to their new country and new family? Do they think of this?
Now, I know it's very common for parents who are adopting to change the child's name. I always wondered how the child feels about this. I understand when they are infants there isn't much say until they get older. But what about the kids who are adopted at 4, 5 older? How do they feel about their name being changed? I have had a few friends who were adopted at 13 and their parents changed their names. A few didn't mind and some really hated that their name got changed to something else. I mean after all for the first 13 years of their life people called them one thing. Then to be uprooted and called another is kind of jolting. Personally, even though I was adopted when I was an infant, I have issues with my Chinese name being changed to something more "American". There are a few reasons.
1.) I felt like I didn't belong, outcasted.
Growing up I was one of the only Asians in my school. (Yay for Catholic school! Am I right?) I would get asked a lot why my name wasn't anything even close to being Asian. And that's where I had to say I was adopted. Which led to the questions. Oh those dreaded questions of "Do you know your real parents?" "Why weren't you wanted?" etc. Yuck. Those memories.
2.) I wanted to be more connected to China
When I was growing up I wanted so badly to be called Liang (my Chinese name) but it just never stuck. My mom was too much into my American name. And while it has a nice meaning (Molly means most desired child.) I felt that with my American name I wasn't Chinese enough anymore. I felt like I had lost what was left of my birth country.
Anyways, I'm not bashing this family at all. I think it's great they want to adopt. I just am wondering how they will handle their boys' questions when they start to grow up. I'm sure this was thought of , and I will probably stick with their vlog to see the adoption process.